A year ago, my life was completely different. But, the events that unfolded within the borders of Gaza as 1400 people were massacred would change my life, completely. The following blog is a reflection of what my life was before the events a year ago and what this one event has led me to be today.
A year ago, I was still struggling to find myself following my divorce & the depression that came with it. I had so many ups and downs between 2007 and the end of 2008. I would come close to suicide a few times. I lived off money from my parents due to the fact that I was left without an income for two months following my separation that occurred 2 weeks before my MFA graduation. My ex, whom I had dated for 6 years before being married for a year, did not attend my graduation and spent that day with the lover they had an affair with. From this point, I would lose 40 pounds, then put on 60 pounds. I had crushes, nearly got into trouble with my poetry on facebook & would cry myself to sleep often at night. I lived on Anti-Depressents until July of 2008. Dated someone for one month (if you could call it dating) before they went to an evangelical church to “find God” and didn’t contact me for a month, so I kinda assumed it was over, which was all the better. My divorce was finalized in March of 2008, and I was just starting to come to terms with the realization of it all near the end of the year. My faith was weak, I struggled to believe in any divine and usually just didn’t care. I wasn’t happy at work, I hated my job, didn’t have really any friends and the ones I did have were students. I was stressed out, depressed & alone.
Gaza happened.
Everything changed.
I began what would become this blog in January of 2009, opened my twitter account on December 28th, 2008. Learned about Al Jazeera, PressTV and other international media as I became thirsty for knowledge about what was going on in the world and why no one was stopping the inhumanity.
I met people, some of the most wonderful people on this planet. Many of them are going to be my lifelong friends. I learned about Palestine’s history, what Zionism is, what Islam is. I learned about the Palestinian struggle and resistance, why groups like Hamas and Hezbullah were considered terrorist groups and why they shouldn’t be called that. I learned about the Arab world, the greater middle east, how the United States has played a role in the events. I learned about the UN & the many resolutions that have been raised regarding Israel that never passes due to US Veto, often the only dissenting vote.
During the weeks of the Gaza massacre, I would learn that Human Rights & international affairs would be a passion for me. I would take on the Palestinian cause and support it with my own heart.
Once the bombing ceased, I continued to study and learn, I would expand my knowledge and grow my friendships. I became busy with work, but I kept in contact with people. We continued to bring the events of Gaza to the surface, debated against Zionism & tried to shed light on the truth.
During the summer, I decided to start learning Arabic and taught myself some of the basics of the language, while I am weak still, it is something I will continue to learn. I have people I know willing to teach me and they help me translate all the time and I can tell you it is working.
In addition, my faith began to take shape. I was inspired by some of my friends to take a look at Islam and what it taught about women’s rights, men’s rights, the role of God in your life, the role of violence, patience and love. I have read many books and asked many questions and I am currently at a point where, my heart says I am Muslim. While I have not done my Shahada to any individual, I have said it to myself and to my God. While I still do not know how to pray and do not pray very often in this manner, I trust that I can learn it and one day be able to tell my story as it will be full.
I have learned about life, death, love & God. I heave learned about resistance, strength, perserverance and stamina. I have learned how to give of myself for others. I have supported my friends and loved ones as they go to Gaza for the Gaza Freedom March. I fell in love with Palestine, with Allah. And only time will tell me if love exists beyond this with another human.
But, this much is sure…
The Gaza Massacre changed my life. 1400 people died as a result of this horrifying event. But one more has risen out of their blood & struggle. I have gone from depression to happiness. I have lost 20 pounds & will work on more soon. I have found my faith in Allah. I am no longer satisfied sitting at home and have become a political activist. I have given money to people, love to people. I have friends all over the world that I will one day meet. I am a voice against the atrocities of Israel, a voice of those who have died under their hands. I am a child of God, a lover of man & loved by many.
May the blood of those who died run threw my veins and into my heart.
May the struggle they face be my own
May the screams of the mothers ring in my ears
May the silence of the world give me strength to shout
May the dead rise up within my heart & give me strength to stand
And I will resist
After just watching President Obama speak about what we, as a nation, are going to do in Afghanistan, I wanted to reflect within this blog and discuss my own thoughts on the matter. I will start off with stating three things:
1. I am against any war that is not just & even a just war must be held accountable both in terms of life, transparency, cost & operation. I do not believe Afghanistan is the just war it began as, so I am opposed to any continuation of the war.
2. President Obama brings to the table a couple of things – he uses better language of unity than some of our previous presidents have done & he is able to say it elegantly. I do believe words make a difference & we are at least one step forward in this aspect. However, this does not make his words any more true & actions speak louder than words.
3. For those of you who have followed my blog over the past year & if you were lucky enough to know my blogs before I went public, you know that I was a strong supporter of Barack Obama. When the primary election process began, I was still living in Illinois, going to graduate school a few hours from his announcement speech in Springfield. I got to see his work as a State Senator & then as an US Senator. He gave inspiring speeches that I believed were important for our nation to have, speeches of hope & unity. Whereas the GOP was filled more with hatred, division, fear. I still believe that Obama, now as President, wants to bring us together & he stated so in his speech today. However, I have learned over the course of the year, watching as he made his cabinet appointments, this was no different than we have had in the past. I have come to realize that in order to change the way our government is run, we need to completely change the people who are running it. Barack Obama was a fresh face with little experience, which gave me hope. But, he continues to rely on voices of the past: Clinton, Gates, Geithner, Bernanke, etc The head and words of the body may sound good, but the body is still the same ugly mess that got us here. Due to this, despite the fact that I have considered myself an independent, I can no longer consider myself aligned with the Democratic Party, the party I have voted with the last three Presidential elections. I shudder to think what our nation will be if the GOP gets elected because I do consider the Democrats to be better. But, both of these parties have continued to raise our deficit, continue to destroy the US Constitution & what it means, ignoring war crimes or allowing them to happen across the world. Our leaders are more worried about getting re-elected than actually doing anything to fix our problems or not allowing problems to happen in the first place.
Finally, let’s get to my response to the President’s speech regarding Afghanistan. First, I’d like to discuss the House and Senate Resolutions that President Obama mentioned at the beginning of his speech which authorized the use of force against Al Qaeda.
Joint Resolution (HR #64; SR #23), Signed into law by President Bush, September 18th, 2001:
That the President is authorized to use all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons he determines planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, or harbored such organizations or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States by such nations, organizations or persons.(source)
There is a clause that refers back to the War Powers Resolution passed in 1973 which gives congress some power to cut off funding to the war.
The problem with this resolution is how open and broad it is and was used on numerous occasions as justification for the war in Iraq. President Obama is using this as his justification for continuing our offensive in Afghanistan. He spent a number of times during his speech also praising Iraq’s success, which I thought was an odd thing for him to do.
A question arose in my mind when he discussed how Al Qaeda and the Taliban had gone into Pakistan, which is run by a corrupt government much like Afghanistan. Yet, we do not invade, conquer and occupy this country.
I also thought it was interesting that he is justifying the current additional 30,000 troops by comparing the troop levels of Iraq and the fact that there were only 32,000 in Afghanistan when he took office. A recent CBS chart indicates that as of November, there are 68,000 troops in Afghanistan and we are adding another 30,000 bringing us more than three times the number we had at the beginning of the year. Yet, October & November were the most violent since the initial offensive.
So, the question becomes, will increasing the troop level “win” this war? And what is “winning”? This is where I feel President Obama has lost his way. Whether or not the increase in troops is successful or not, he is missing the point in why people are against it.
Our initial military offensive in Afghanistan was a reaction to September 11th. We knew at the time that Al Qaeda claimed responsibility and they were operating within Afghanistan which was being controlled by the Taliban. While I am not completely opposed to this initial offensive, I do believe we rushed into this conflict without proper thought. One week after the event, we were already giving the President authorization to use military force against anyone “HE” believes is responsible for this attack. Did we give diplomacy with the rulers of Afghanistan a chance to succeed? No. Instead, we flexed our big muscle and invaded the country, overthrowing the government, violently kicking out the rulers of the land, yet we were met with resistance & that resistance grows every day we are on their land.
President Obama spoke into the camera to the Afghan people telling them we did not want to occupy their land, flat out claiming we were not occupiers. We are better than the Soviets, we do not want to oppress your women like the Taliban. We will completely ignore all of our past. Do we not have a prison with indefinite detention there? Did we not have soldiers raping women there? Did we not have a group of Christian Crusaders trying to spread the word of Christ there? Do we not have contractors who murder innocent people and it is not a crime for these civilians to do so? Do we not support & prop up a corrupt government re-elected under a fraud election? And, yet, we are not occupiers? I do not know who he was talking to, but to the resistance fighters who are killing US soldiers, we ARE occupying their land. During his speech he invoked the fact that our nation was founded on freedom fighters resisting the occupation – yet, this is not what is happening with Afghanistan?
In terms of Pakistan – this just shows how flawed our foreign policy is. We are so fearful of nuclear weapons that we will fight “terrorists” we seek to get them, we will deny Iran their legal right to nuclear energy. We have a President who wants to rid the world of nuclear arms – but we continue to support & prop up Pakistan, Israel and India as three nations who have not signed the NPT and have nuclear weapons. This speaks of hypocrisy.
Finally, I want to close with the economic impact that this war is having on our nation. War kills nations. The United States is the only nation that has profited by wars and one of the main reason we have become the only superpower in the world is because we were the funding power for the rebuilding of most of the world following WWII. Since WWII, we have continued to allow the government to grow bigger, we continue to lower taxes and we continue to fight wars both on and off the budget. Most people agree that Iraq was a mistake, it cost us big in economic, in human life and in our relationship with the world. But, just because Iraq was a mistake it does not justify the reason we are still in Afghanistan.
We have a nation more endanger of collapse due to economic debt than we do from any terrorist. We have a weak & outdated electric grid. We are lagging behind in innovation, science & information technology. Our educational system has gone so far down that the cost of a University Education is going to be out of reach for most Americans if we don’t do something about it. Each year, the states cut more money from their education budgets. We say we leave no child left behind, but in reality we have caused the entire nation to fall behind. We have more money being spent on health care than we should & people are dying here because they can’t afford to be sick.
Yet, we can afford for our “national security” to send more troops to Afghanistan?
I think it’s time that our nation, our leaders & our President to wake up and realize – Afghanistan is not a war against terrorism, but a war against ourselves in how far we will go to bend the laws of our country, drive our nation into debt and lose the ability to function as credible peace keepers. I fear we have already done too much of all three that we have already failed.
My last comment is related to Islam:
This President continues to fail at addressing an underlying problem that is within this nation and our perception within the world. While he does say Islam is a great world religion and that Al Qaeda has distorted Islam. He continues to equate the “Muslim” world with a world filled with violence. He did not speak out about the fact that the Ft. Hood shooting is the work of one man and not of the religion of Islam. I feel, as a President that had people vote against him and still believe that he is really an Arab Muslim terrorist in disguise should stand up and instead of defending himself as being a Christian – actually defend Islam and Muslims both here in America and in the world as a religion filled with peace & loving people. It may be good for him politically to assert his Christian faith, but to stop there is to allow people to continue to support the notion that Muslim is equal to terrorist.
The last couple days I have been listening to an online radio stream at ICtunes.com, a radio station geared towards Muslims. I wouldn’t really consider it a radio station but more a way to hear music & then they tell you that you can purchase the music by searching for such and such number on their website. Most of the time, the constant breaks in the music to tell me I can buy it is annoying, but in some ways it’s nice because if I like a song I can search for what it was and then see if I can find it online somewhere else. The song below is one of the ones I liked and it’s by Zain Bhikha whom I have not heard until today. The music video above is another song by him regarding Palestine. And the one at the very bottom is related to the constant bloodshed being placed on Islam (lyrics appear below the video). I like his voice and his writing is fantastic and I just wanted to share with you.
Each day we are reminded
and each day we say
there’s not much that we can do
it seems so far away
So we live our lives in silence
pretending not to hear
the voices of our people
The cry is so so clear
Why do we stand by spectating
while our brothers cry jihad?
We are bound by one conviction:
we believe in Allah
Chorus:
Have you heard of Kosova, of Afghanistan?
Have you heard of Palestine [2nd chorus: Bosnia]
of Chechan?
Have you heard of all these people
persecuted in their land?
Do you know that all these people are dying for Islam?
Have you heard, have you heard
have you heard?
Each day is like another
Nothing seems to change
Today he’ll lose his brother
Tomorrow will be the same
Yet his faith makes him stronger
he’s come so so far
The pain in his heart is eased
by his love for Allah
O I envy you my brother
in adversity you pray
You know that heaven awaits you
at the end of this day
The following videos feature UK rapper Lowkey. The first is a speech he gave at a UK “Defend the Muslim Community” conference earlier this year. The second is a video made from part 1 of a rap he wrote regarding Afghanistan. And the third is one regarding Palestine. Lowkey uses music, lyrics to bring attention to some of the movements we should all be aware of. Music, while sometimes used for perverse & sexual means, can be used for activist movements of human importance. If you like what you see here, check out more from http://www.myspace.com/lowkeyuk
Over the past week or so, I have posted on here some examples of what I am finding in terms of pure hatred towards Islam & the middle east. I have been called a terrorist, a coward, anti-American, etc. Their only weapon against me really has been the slow degrading of my character. Which has not changed my stance on many of my issues and I believe only shows how idiotic they are.
Here is where I would like your help, in a few sentences, tell me why you are Muslim. What keeps you believing? For those of you who were born into the religion, why do you believe what your parents believe? For those of you who became Muslim during your life time as a revert, why did you find Islam to be something worthy of being involved with. Try not to be too long in your answer, but give me the truth no matter how long.
I am going to take your comments and wrote up a blog to post, it will be posted here and on this other website. I do not intend to argue with these fools, but I want to show my area what Islam is all about so they can see for themselves why Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world.
There will always be those who degrade the faith, but there will also be those who take the opportunity to examine life for what it truly is. Those who choose to remain hateful will be passed by as the rest of the world will not stand and watch them.
This is also for me, as I’m still studying, it would be nice to know why the religion is beautiful to you when I have been bombarded all week with hate from non-believers or people who say all Muslims are terrorists.
