It takes a strong man to hide his emotions

I’m going to be a little philosophical today as my mind is often thinking this way, but for some reason I have the urge to write today and I don’t want to stop that as I have been struggling to find inspiration.

It takes a strong man to hide his emotions. Or, that’s what we teach each other. But, I believe it takes a stronger man to recognize that he is weak. It takes an even stronger man to admit this to others & the strongest man realizes that without the aid of others & from his God, he is nothing. No amount of outward strength will be able to overcome his weakness.

So, why is it that we train ourselves that we must be “strong” enough to do things by ourselves. Perhaps it stems from the training we get as children. That first time we use the toilet, walk or feed ourselves – we become strong and “big boys or girls.” I’ve watched as children grow up, we train them to behave, and how that translates into adult type themes. I’ve also seen a pattern that develops based on what order you were born. First born children are often the most independent and are frequently the ones most unable to show their weakness, they were asked to grow up much quicker than their younger children. I know this because I am a first born. I have been very independent, highly motivated by my own self desires to be intelligent, capable of maintaining my own life without the aid of others. I rarely faced failure and when I did, I didn’t let it show. Then something happened in my life that caused me to be so weak that I could not face the world without help. It was at that point that my world changed. I was forced to realize I was weak.

But, how do we teach others to do this? The answer, we can’t. They have to realize it themselves. We can only be there ready and willing to help when the time comes. It is not possible to force someone to realize their weakness enough to reach out to others. The only thing we can do is keep reaching out to remind them we are there for them when they become ready. This same thing must happen with children as well. As a parent, you are not helping your children by walking them through every hurdle in their life. They have to be able to fail, recognize their weakness and turn outward for guidance.

As your friend, I will always be there when you are ready. But, I cannot and will not force you upon me. For, it is not me who has to fall, it is not me who has to suffer under the weight of your blind strength, for I am the one who is there to catch your fall when you say. I can’t. I need you. For true friendship is defined not by how rich you are, or how much you agree with someone. True friendship is defined as those who reach out, worry, comfort and assist when you are in need.

And, thus, out of this comes my own teaching philosophy and why I do not fear giving failing grades to students. As much as I want everyone to succeed, sometimes failure is the only way to teach someone and unfortunately, this is the world we live in.

I’ll leave you with just some words of wisdom, when your friend is in need, don’t tell them to brush it off & move on. Tell them, it’s okay, if you need to talk I am here. And, when your friend does come to you, listen to them. Offer empathy and if they desire it, offer advice. But, listen. This is the first step in their development of showing their weakness & you are there to catch their fall.

May the peace of Allah fall upon each and everyone of you.

With love,
Moonstar Silverwolf

Moody Wednesday with Halestorm

I’m frustrated, tired & I just don’t care. I thought my workout would help things and it did for a little moment. Usually getting to chat with someone helps too, but they aren’t having the greatest day and might be getting sick as well, which made me feel sad. So, my pissy mood just stuck around.

I’m really not going to get into why I’m so moody because it’s not just one thing but a combination of things as just one of them would have been fine.

So, instead, I’m just going to stay being in a moodiness and try to go to bed in hopes that in the morning things will be better.

It’s days like today that I wish I wasn’t alone… cause I really want a hug.

I just feel like crawling into someone’s arms and crying. I hate this feeling. You’d think I would have been able to deal with my emotions after being alone for over 2 years now. But no, I still just want to ball.

The only thing that’s keeping me from doing so is a song I’ve been listening to off and on because it helps get my blood flowing and motivated and when I sing it all I think about is the idea behind it. hmmm.. :bites lip:…

Do you truly understand Love?

How many people truly understand the emotion of love? Like truly, fully comprehending it to it’s completeness? If you raised your hand you are an idiot & a fool.

I fully believe that love is something that cannot fully be understood. Why do we long for someone, miss them when they are not around? Why are we willing to kill for them, protect them but nurture them & nurse them? Yet, why do we fight them, why do we hate them, why do we resent them? Why do we mourn them when they die, or celebrate when they are born? Yet, all of these come from love or happen because of love. Yes, some of these are not the good kind of love or what we should call love, but we all still do it. Two people in love in a marriage will still fight, they will still hurt each other & they will still love each other. Passion will drive them into the bedroom or out for a walk. Caring for children can be a beautiful joy shared between the two of you. Yet, some will destroy it with selfishness?

I have fully believed that while I will still have selfish feelings, it is my job as a lover to give of myself to the other. I know I have talked about this before, but it’s something that drives me forward.

While I am still passionate about love, it scares me to death. I have been hurt before by love, but I still want to do it. It’s the strangest thing in the world. It’s as though I am a cat getting squirted with water everytime I go on the kitchen table, but 30 seconds later, I’m back on the table. I long for it, I risk being hurt, why?

Why do I find myself longing to hear a voice, to see the words of a note or to send a note hoping they get it. It’s just insane, yet we as humans do it all the time. Are we crazy to do this? I don’t have a clue. But, like a drug, I get addicted & the more I want to stop, the less I can. Even if I go days without something, I will still find myself back on the kitchen table.

Perhaps this is why I got into the arts, because I can express my “love” through it. Through writing poetry, blogs, painting. It’s calming and it allows me to go without the love of another that much longer, I suppose.

And, just like with theatre – the show must go on & always does – how? I don’t know, it’s a mystery. A mysterious thing that, honestly, I don’t really care to solve.

Protected: First Day of Classes – Check

You are special, my friend

A Poem written by Moonstar Silverwolf on July 25th, 2009 – All Rights Reserved. Dedicated to a friend.

Breathe
The breath of life
Seek that within
That brings you to light
Seek that without
That helps you overcome
Push forward
Allow your heart & mind to rest
The memory of their voice
will hold you
And replace the arms of embrace
with the gentleness of their memory
You will rise up
Your passion will night die
Even when emotion seeks to destroy
Shout back, I will overcome
Allow them to live within
As you live without
Never forget those who have gone
But do not allow them to take you with them
As you struggle, just remember
I’ve got your back
I’ll hold you up
When times are tough
My embrace
through my gentle words is true
and my heart is pure
And I would do what you need
To support you through
Whether it’s a joke
a smile
Or my cute laugh
Whether it’s my voice
my words
or my mind
You’re within my thoughts
My dreams and my heart
You are special