A future to come & a past once was

I have finished archiving my old blog. It’s actually amazing to skim through your old life and see what you were going through.

I started blogging with Xanga back in 2003 until I switched to myspace as my primary blog in 2005 due to the larger privacy settings they offered at the time. I kept myspace as my primary blog until I started using wordpress this year. My archiving is due to the fact that I have decided to permanently move my blog to my self-hosted wordpress based blog that I now have & find is the best blog I have had since I started.

As I was going back through my blogging, something happened during those many years. For the first 3 years of my blogging career, I didn’t see the overall picture. I was blogging because I thought I should. There were moments when the blogging was a release of my emotions, but for the most part my blog was a way to communicate with others to let them know how I am doing and in between all of these I put in random quizzes as well as copied and pasted things I found online.

It wasn’t until sometime late 2006 when things started going sour with my ex did it start to become more. My blogging exploded in intensity and in number of entries during 2007 and every blog was longer with more depth of emotional. However, there were occasional blog posts that expressed merely emotion and nothing else:

April 18, 2007 – Wednesday 5:10 PM
fuck…
What the fuck is going on? I feel like throwing up, every few mins I break out in tears. I feel so alone, lost. I feel like everything I ever had is now gone…how can this happen?

Without proper context of the blogs around this one, you would not necessarily know what was going on within my mind & life, but as a whole I was much more connected blog post to blog post.

I started to realize that the events surrounding my ex made my blogging mature to a point where I feel more confident in my writing. I write not just to share my daily events with people, but to allow myself an outlet of expression for what is going on in my world. During 2007 through today, I have a much better understanding of my emotions, my life and my spiritual well-being and started to realize what I could do with my blogging.

Over the coming weeks, I promise I will be revealing more about who I am, who my ex was and what happened with that relationship. There are a few posts from my past that I would like to bring back up to reflect upon and to be able to see how far I have gone since then. Some of this will be hard, but I think it is necessary so I do not allow myself to fall into the same trap again. My blogging helped me get past the pain & now it will help me reflect, mature & share my experiences with others.

Related posts:

1. Welcome to my new home
2. I Am Me: My Past & My Dating Life
3. Blogging for a Cause
4. Need Help finding a Host
5. Updates, transition & transparency of blog owner